Mental Surgery

I didn't get the time to write the diary yesterday. Cause this last day was a big day. We recorded 3 songs. The drums of Yohan were reaaaaally reaaaaall cool. "Kill Me Twice", "Just like you and I", and "I Am An Island".
Before each song, we begin with talking about the song with Ross inside the room.
What is it about ? What are the lyrics ? Are they true ? Do we feel them in our skins ? Do we lie in there ? Are we honest enough to sing that ? What does that mean ? Why ? Could I be the same motherfucker than the guy / the girl I'm talking about in my song ? We share our experiences on that. We tell what we feel deeply. Ross wants that. He's digging in us.
"I'm a dinosaur, somebody's digging my bones" as KING CRIMSON said. He wants to get the evil out of you, so you can see this shit, visualize it, and speak to it during the songs. He wants us to know deeply why we're going to do this song. The meaning of it. The feeling to express. The common feeling to express. The meeting of our three brains connected in a imaginary point in the middle of the room, and then talking to the sky, with a common voice. Ross wants us to live the song . Not to act it. Not to play it. There's nothing to intellectualize. It's not time for that anymore.
"You say you're in pain in your lyrics ? So, now, suffer, show me. Suffer." We must suffer with our souls, more than our bodies. Cause behaving like that, with a mental conditioning, means that you forget your body. Your throat, your hands, your feet become just a tool for music, connecting people to each other, connecting people to something higher above. Some say God. Maybe it's true. You can imagine something else if you don't believe in God, but you'll feel it. Something's higher is talking. Talking to your mind. Talking to your body. And you forget yourself. Words are coming out you don't know how. With a personal voice. With a personal strength.
You only know you're tired when you go back landing on Earth, which means when you go out of the studio. Then Yohan can feel he's gonna fall on the floor, cause his legs don't carry his whole body anymore... but before, he could have played the song 20 times, he maybe would have done it.
I didn't imagine how deep I had to dig inside of me to record these songs. How I had to involve my whole mind and body into this process. How I had to accept to change all of my musical bad habits to find a bigger truth.
Knowing that, I didn't imagine we would be able to do it.